Disappointment

I've become rather disappointed in a lot of people I know lately. Also, just downright confounded. People have been pretty much trying to drag me into choosing sides in some stuff. Honestly, I don't mind you talking to me about it. I want you to. But please understand I do NOT ask my friends to choose between me and some person or another I may not get along with when I am in the same situation. So, please don't ask me to do it for you. OK? Unless it's something totally out there like threats against your well being, or something like that. But even then you really shouldn't ask me to do that. I will be mad at them, yes, if this happens to you, but you must let me make my own decision about people and a situation. Understand a person who is not "in the web" of a problem is more likely to see the tangles and snags in it to help. OK?

Understand, I do want to hear about your problems if you need to talk about them, no matter who you are - even if I really do not like you. I mean, if you're hanging off a cliff I am NOT going to step on your fingers to let you fall. I'll extend a hand to help you if I can. But most likely if you're talking to me then you're a friend of mine. I care about you ok? Just please keep in mind that if this is about a problem between a person I am also friends with, I will listen intently, I will give advice if I think I can. But please do not expect me to stop caring about the other person because you're having problems. Remember there are two sides to a situation. And most likely the other person is also going through their own emotions about the same situation.

I've seen it a couple of times. And there may be times when I will favor one person's view on something over the other simply because to me it seems the most logical and mature thing. Before you say anything, please remember I DO understand what you mean. I have been in the same situation. Am still in the same situation. And will continue being in the same situation for as long as I can possibly extend my mind to go. But I am all for free thinking and decision making when it comes to people. Simply put - just because I or you have a bad experience with someone does not mean it will be repeated with someone else or be viewed in such a distasteful light by another as you or I will consider it. If a person chooses sides then that is their decision. If they decide due to the cicumstances and can see both sides of the situation to cut off ties with a friend that is their decision. Not an act of betrayal as some would consider it. They are simply doing what they have morally decided is in their best interests. I have also been in this situation and trust me, it is not something you just wake up saying, "Oh! I don't like this person anymore, so I don't think I'll talk to them anymore." You go through emotional turmoil, hard thinking and finally a complete decision based upon the mind... NOT the heart. At least that is the way it should be. I am not saying emotions do not factor into this, in fact they often will. But if all you get from someone is negativity and taking... what can you expect? But as such, when you consciously make the decision to do this, you must bear in mind this DOES NOT mean you should expect other people to think or do the same as you do.

This is why when I have problems with someone, unless it is under other circumstances, I try to avoid talking bad about them. And if I must, it is only about the problem at hand. Yes, occasionally I will stray off of this course, but that does not mean I do not recognize this person's strengths. Nor do I want someone to judge another person due to what has happened to me. This in mind... please avoid the attitude of expecting me to see things your way and no other if you are in the situation. Talk to me about the problem... for God sake vent your frustration please (I won't mind), but even if I do not say anything, or I even agree with you, that does not mean I will stop liking the other person due to it. The only time I have ever done this is when a friend of mine was physically threatened, or physically assualted by this individual or was abused in a way that I really can not excuse. And especially if it was repeatedly. Also, how am I supposed to understand how you feel about something if all you do is bitch about that person without telling me what in the hell happened in the first place? It's illogical for someone to dislike someone just because you said so and all you do is say bad things about them. Give me a reason for heaven's sake! Don't just tell me, "things happened" then start ragging on them about what a horrible person they are without giving me proof that it's true. All you're accomplishing there is a curiousity in me to find out what happened and to learn more about the other person from their own perspective.


I've also come to be greatly disappointed in the way some people are reacting to some things. Also, in an uncaring attitude that people who do supposedly care are bringing into light. All I have to say is, if you don't care about a person don't pretend you do. Sometimes when people consistently outright or subtly "cry for attention" it isn't for attention itself... it's just to know there's still a reason to get up in the morning. There's also the fact that some people say they don't want to be around someone or have anything to do with them yet they keep encouraging them to hang around, under the excuse of using them. There's no excuse for using people and playing with a person's feelings.


No this is not all completely about me. So, please don't take it that way.

(x-posted to serveral journals due to it being a message I REALLY want relayed)