Hello and Good-bye

*trying to think positive thoughts and not throw up at the chatroom* Should make my own chatroom where unwired/actual fans can talk. They're creeping me out honestly. Anyway, moving along...

Whoa random Ac/DC. *amused* Sorry, we're (Becky and I) watching the TR webcam and also watching the chatroom silently. And the whole Fu-ki's "beautiful Roger" thing was lovely.

Well, I was for once in a really good mood. Not sure if that's the right description of it but close. At peace is I guess it. I did a lot of praying last night. A lot of begging for answers mostly. Then I woke up this morning with the usual, I don't want to go to work. Granted, because I was watching "Forever Knight" last night before bed my dreams were really screwed up, but they weren't nightmares. I've been basically plagued with very disturbing dreams and nightmares every night for over a month now. I believe they're all work related. I kind of figured that since on the days I took off for the storm I wasn't subjected to it. Then immediately they came back on Friday. Anyway... I didn't have those types of things really last night, weird dreams yes. But I'm used to it.

Anyway, after my usual argument with myself every morning to get up and go and not just quit, I got in my car and was actually in a fairly peaceful mood. The things pressing on me, were gone. I made up my mind to just let whatever happen to happen.

So, I get to work and I get meet up with a guy who has been asking me to transfer inside for a couple months, but I don't know where. He gave me some ideas and also is going to look up the jobs and let me know what to look for. I also got to finally say out loud what has been really bothering me about my boss - that he's abusive. That I can't take his mind games anymore." And the guy said, "I know. I can see what he's been doing to you. You've lasted longer with him than most people do. Most people quit or get fired because they can't take it." Along with something along the lines of he could see it because I was all happy when I came there, and now I look so unhappy it's painful. Something along those lines...

Anyway, he said he's gonna try and help me get inside ASAP. It won't take my points away. But that I think settles my job issue. Also, today, on the dangerous turn that has been holding me back, I took a stick shift out and I parked it in the hardest lot to park in. Hills and all. By myself. I must back up. As you know, a customer is teaching me to fully efficent in driving a manual, but Amir (my co-worker) was supposed to teach me like months ago. He never did. First thing when I come back from parking a giant truck, the boss is there giving Amir a hell of time for NOT teaching me. That amused me, then when I come in he's all cheery and greeting me (the boss). This is creepy cause he doesn't do that. So, when he does I get suspicious... then I found out why, which was the above. Oh well, I got to be a broody bitch with him since my mood plummetted immediately at seeing him, and just mumbled something and gave him a look of I want to strangle you with your internal organs. He kind of moved out of my way... Ahem... Anyway... back to it, Amir informed me of the convo he and the boss were having. So, he was all "tomorrow we'll start".

Well, Amir went to lunch and an old stick came in. Gloria hates to drive the old sticks since she is just learning. I'm being taught or learned how to with a very old one. Soooo, I took a deep breath, said a prayer to not die in a car crash and made it to point a to point b without one stall out and very well... all by myself. So... forget Amir. He doesn't want to help me anyway. I need to practice more to be faster... but with God's help I can do it.

Anyway that was the major highlight. The other was I can actually make the payment on the gas bill and was able to get some gas and Chinese today. Anyway, came home and relaxed with "Forever Knight" again, and now am watching my official "Final farewell" to BLOOD. It's been fun watching all this. I just wish I could go... but I guess, mixed feelings aside, at least I can say farewell in my own way. So, today has been a good day and night.

Thank you to The Divine for helping me today. Relieving my burden. Abling me to do what I thought was the impossible. Finally, thank you and farewell to BLOOD. I'll finish the site for them... though it will just be a tribute to something important to me. Why? There was a time, when they saved my life. For it I am happy too.